Missing Man
by Christina TM
Summary: "Just because we don't like the plan doesn't mean there isn't one." The team recovers after a heartbreaking decision.


DISCLAIMER: I don't own it, please don't sue me. You won't get anything.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I wrote this after seeing the movie, mostly because I loved me Liam Neeson's Hannibal. But I deliberately made it ambiguous enough that you could imagine it as TV- or movieverse. So enjoy, whichever cast you choose to see in your heads.

MISSING MAN

By Christina TM

Sometimes Hannibal Smith hated being in command.

It meant making decisions nobody else wanted to make. Decisions _he _didn't want to make. Hard decisions. Painful decisions.

Ordering young men to their deaths was nothing compared to walking into that VA hospital with Murdock and leaving him there, walking out while Murdock begged for mercy.

"_Hannibal? Hannibal! Don't leave me here! Please! Please, come back! Face! BA!"_

It was without a doubt the most painful thing Hannibal had ever done in his life.

They'd all known this was a possibility when Murdock got released. He could regress, his mind could deteriorate. And it happened. The man once fully capable of remembering anything he saw or heard, speaking any language he tried to learn, and flying anything with wings and an engine became a cracked shell of himself.

It started with the nightmares. They weren't so bad at first—every vet had them, after all—but then they got more vivid, to the point that each of the team had a shift on "Murdock Duty" every night. Then the hallucinations came back. Instead of hallucinating dogs, Murdock became paranoid, not letting anyone within five feet of him.

The night he went after BA with a knife, Hannibal made the decision. They had to take Murdock to the VA hospital and leave him there. For good.

"_I would rather face a firing squad than betray any of you boys." _Hannibal had meant it then, and he meant it now. _And yet I betrayed Murdock._ Hannibal had left a man behind.

_No. _Hannibal reminded himself. _We didn't betray him. We did what was best for him. We couldn't care for him anymore. _The Ranger took a long breath. _And I would rather have faced a firing squad._

The team had driven away from the hospital as fast as they could, knowing the authorities would soon come looking for them. _At least Murdock can't tell them anything. _Now they were holed up at a dingy motel in the middle of nowhere.

Shortly after their arrival Face had gone outside, claiming he needed air. BA was pacing the hotel room like a caged animal. After half an hour Hannibal couldn't handle it anymore and went out to the lobby. Now he was silently watching while Face sat on the steps outside the motel, unaware of his colonel's presence. _He looks like he just lost his best friend._

_He did just lose his best friend._

For the third time that day, Hannibal came perilously close to tears. It occurred to him that if he wanted, he could slip away. Find somewhere away from Face and BA and give in to his grief.

_No. _Hannibal couldn't do that and leave Face alone. He'd already left one man behind today.

Slowly, Hannibal pushed the door open.

* * *

Face didn't know how long he'd been sitting on the hard steps, but it was long enough for the daylight to fade into twilight, soon to become dusk.

_Quiet. It's so quiet without you, Murdock._

The con artist felt something bump his shoulder and looked up. Hannibal sat on the step above him. How long had he been there?

"He's in that hospital right now," Face said hollowly. "He's alone and scared and wondering why we're not there to help him."

Face heard Hannibal take a long breath. "If what that doctor told us is true, it won't be long before Murdock doesn't remember us at all."

"Was that supposed to make me feel better?" Face asked bitterly.

"No."

"If he were here we would probably be talking about…about Billy or some other…thing…" Face felt his eyes start to water. "I'd give anything to hear him now."

A hand landed between Face's shoulder blades. "So would I."

"Nothing ever stuck to him." Face sniffed. "No matter how many times BA called him a crazy fool or we tried to shut him up. Murdock was made of rubber, you know? Not a lot of guys spend eight years with the Rangers and end up…" He fumbled for the word.

"Innocent," Hannibal finished.

"Yeah." That was it. Innocent.

"I miss him," Face confessed, finally undone. "God help me, Hannibal, I miss him so much."

"I know." Hannibal's voice was almost unbearably gentle as he pulled Face to his side. "I know. I miss him too."

* * *

_It ain't right._

BA shook his head as he prowled the hotel room. He hadn't stopped moving for nearly an hour now. If he didn't stop soon, the hotel was going to have to bill him for a new carpet.

_Man, Murdock, why'd you have to go crazy on us? Make us bring you back to the loony bin? You was nuts, but you was all right. Ain't the same without you. I only had three friends left in this world. Now I only got two._

_Man, I can't stay in here no more. You won't get outta my head, Murdock! Why I gotta miss you so much?_

Almost without thinking, BA exited the room into the hallway and strode down to the lobby. _Gotta get outside. _

When he opened the door, BA saw Hannibal sitting on the steps, Face crying into his lap. Hannibal's head was bowed, shoulders slumped, and BA didn't miss the sheen in his eyes. The colonel looked like death. Probably felt like it too.

BA sat beside the two remaining members of his team. "I never hated that sucker," he admitted. "I just pretended."

Face lifted his head from Hannibal's lap and gave a weak, watery laugh. "You never had any of us fooled." He clasped BA's forearm with his hand. "Least of all Murdock."

"I don't see no plan in this, Hannibal," BA said. "Leavin' Murdock like that. Even if we had to."

Hannibal slid his arm around BA's shoulders and drew him close. "Just because we don't like the plan doesn't mean there isn't one," The colonel informed, his normally soothing voice turned gravelly with fatigue and grief.

The A-Team, or what was left of it, sat outside mourning their fallen comrade until the wee hours of the morning. _Three. Three where there should be four. Like a missing man formation._

Units missing a man always carried on. BA had seen that. The team would never find another like Murdock, but they'd be OK.

And they would never forget their missing man.


End file.
